In our accumulation-crazed society, more is better. Whether it’s super-sized food, McMansions, private jets or plain old bling, the catchphrase is more, more, more!
If more is always better, then more traffic tickets are better than fewer, right? In today’s world of social media and celebutantes, it’s hard to stand out. But now there’s a better, faster, easier way to leave your mark on the world — by avoiding traffic school and being dinged with even more traffic tickets! You might rack up even more than Paris or Lindsay if you try really hard!
By staying far, far away from traffic school, you can avoid valuable knowledge and skills — who needs those old things? They keep you from getting more traffic tickets. And more is better, remember?
Of course, this is a joke. (You got that, right?) You know that more isn’t always better, you smarty pants! In the case of traffic tickets, fewer are better, for a bunch of reasons. But if you get one — or several — completing a course through an approved traffic school can keep it off your record and off the radar of your insurance company. Paying insurance companies is another case in which more isn’t better.
Traffic School Plus Fun? Does Not Compute
This next part is not a joke, although it totally sounds like one. You can attend a traffic school that is actually fun. You heard right. Way back in 1989 (which was a year that happened in addition to being a Taylor Swift album), a dude named Gary Alexander had a brilliant idea. A light bulb literally appeared over his head and he shrieked, “Eureka!” This indicated that he’d had a brilliant idea.
Gary’s idea was to start a movement in — wait for it — comedy defensive driving. He pitched his idea to the founder of the famous Improv Comedy Club, who said, “Sure, why not?” (Or something to that effect.) Soon, funny traffic school became a reality with the Improv Comedy Defensive Driving program.
Needless to say, Gary’s brilliant idea was a smashing success, and the program soon spread to lots of states. As with anything awesome, imitators followed. Don’t be fooled, or you might find yourself saying in a smooth European accent, “I can’t believe it’s not the real Improv Comedy Defensive Driving school!”
Inquiring minds want to know: How does Comedy Traffic School work?
In between saving the world from aliens, slaying dragons, defeating the Empire and figuring out new things for old superheroes to do, some of Hollywood’s crack writers create curriculum for Comedy Traffic School. You can learn from these crazy-good writers either through local courses or online, lucky you. The curriculum has received a bunch of awards over the years. No, not Oscars, silly.
More importantly, official reviews by traffic-safety expert types have found that the comedy writers’ lessons improve students’ driving with fewer tickets and fewer accidents. In 2008, Comedy Driving started an online version of Comedy Traffic School. Because the Internet.
Over the years since Gary’s brilliant idea, it’s become clear to traffic safety consultants and drivers across the country that comedy works in getting people’s attention and helping them remember important information. Like how fewer traffic tickets are better.
Who Can Participate in Comedy Traffic School?
Lots of people, young Padawan! If you’re in Texas, New York, Nevada, New Jersey, Missouri, Michigan, Idaho, Georgia, Florida, California or Arizona, you can attend online. If you haven’t attended traffic school for a violation within 18 months of your current ticket, good for you! You’re probably eligible.
There are exceptions to who can participate. If you have a commercial driver’s license or were behind the very large wheel of a commercial vehicle like a big rig when you got your ticket, sorry, good buddy — no Comedy Traffic School for you.
That’s A Lot Of Stuff! Anything Else?
If you could attend traffic school but don’t, your auto insurance might end up costing you more. That’s not better, remember? Also, if you don’t turn in your shiny new certificate that shows that you finished traffic school, your case is closed. The DMV gets notice that your case resulted in a conviction instead of a dismissal, then all sorts of bad things happen. You’ll likely get a point on your license, and your auto insurance will probably cost — guess what — more!
If your Internet is broken or for some other reason you don’t want to do an online traffic school class, you can attend live and in person. You also can do a home study course if you’d rather not be seen in public. No matter how you do traffic school, you’ll get all the same important deeds, trust us. With the home study option, you can go at your own pace, but you still have to finish in a certain amount of time and pass a test. You didn’t think you’d get out of this without a test, did you?
In spite of the test, taking a driving course actually can be fun — when it’s Comedy Traffic School!