When police pulled over a man for driving the wrong way on a one-way street, they soon found out two important things. The driver, Stephen F. Ballinger, was drunk as a skunk and completely unaware of where he was or that he nearly smashed into a police car.

Ballinger told police he thought he was in a different city and that was why he was driving the wrong way down a one-way street. Unfortunately for him, being confused about where you are is not a legal excuse for breaking the law, nor is it an excuse for driving drunk. It’s just something that police can laugh about as they drive you to jail and book you on charges of driving under the influence, driving the wrong way on a one-way street. If there was a law against defecating on yourself in public, New York police likely would have charged Ballinger for that, since he did that while police were speaking with him.

Once Ballinger sobered up he apologized to police and tried to explain away his intoxication, suggesting that someone had perhaps spiked his drink without his knowledge. No matter, driving under the influence of alcohol is illegal in all 50 states and most (if not all) countries.

Ballinger will face stiff fines for his citations; fines, suspension of his driving privileges and the possibility of probation or jail time. He is lucky that he didn’t collide with a police vehicle or his charges might also include endangering a police officer which could earn him serious jail time.